Oscar White Jokes...

I don't really care about the Oscars. But I do love a good "whiter than ____" joke. #TheOscars #Whitey #AcademyAwards #DoHashtagsWorkOnHere?
  1. The Oscars are whiter than Mitt Romney in a pool of mayonnaise
  2. The Oscars are whiter than Taylor Swift's dating history.
    At least John Mayor admits it.
  3. The Oscars are whiter than vampire Claire Danes
  4. Than saying you're the "parent of two rambunctious Pomeranians"
    Don't worry, they're rescues.
  5. Than knowing the difference between Old Navy, the Gap, and Banana Republic
  6. Than a NASCAR tailgating party in the parking lot of an Oakley store.
  7. Than everyone at Coachella wearing a head dress.
    Although if you look at the audience at Coachella you'll pretty much get snow blindness.
  8. The Oscars are whiter than a cracker factory in Sherman Oaks
  9. Than an NPR podcast about Downton Abbey
  10. Than a Mumford and Sons concert during a snow storm
  11. Than wearing Sperrys with cuffed pants.
    Or just wearing Sperrys.
  12. Than the GIRLS' version of New York
  13. Than telling your Bros your favorite rappers are still 2Pac and Macklemore but you loved Kendrick Lamar's Grammy performance.
  14. Than the ghost of a girl who died at Starbucks because she literary "can't even"
  15. The Oscars are whiter than a Connecticut Farmer's Market
  16. Than if Bill Pullman, Bill Paxton, and Dave Coulier had a kid.
  17. Than being personally upset by Kanye's Twitter
  18. Than getting bothered when people spell names differently
  19. Than the State Puff Marshmallow Man skiing.
  20. The Oscars are whiter than the monochrome Bentley with matching outfit of a newly signed rapper in 2003
  21. Than a Donald Trump rally at a Wendy's that shares a parking lot with a New Balance outlet and a J Crew.
  22. Than a Facebook profile with a Marilyn Monroe quote followed by a Mean Girls meme.
  23. Than the cast of Full House
    Bob Saget? David Coulier? All the blondes. You know it's a very Caucasian show when John Stamos is the most ethnic person there.
  24. Than treating yourself to a new pinnie after a sick Lacrosse tourney win.
  25. Than knowing what a polo match is.
  26. Than saying "I'm so bad" when eating plain Froyo
    OMFG Pinkberry has a Nutella flavor!!! If they come out with a pumpkin spice flavor I MIGHT. JUST. LOSE IT.