Why Adderall Is Not for Me, and Adhd Needs to Stay.
Thanks to @celeste for the inspiration of this post. Now there is a culture of taking pills or meds for any problem. I at young age decided to stay away from them, and fight adhd with will power. It was hard, and sometimes it feel awful knowing that you could do much better at school, but it was worth it.
- •Taking adderall for the first timeI needed to study, I needed to be on point a focus, so I decided to take adderall. It was great, I was focus for hours, on point. My mind wasn't wandering, I was finishing everything, my mind was learning EVERY single word of the word. I was at a state of grace. I spend 12 hours non stoping in the library studying
- •Then I started to think about itI started to think about how everything would be different, and easier for me. How I was a well oiled machine on Adderall. I was operating like a mechanical movement, I got jealous of people without ADHD
- •But thenI realized that it wasn't me. That guy on adderall, the mechanical focus guy wasn't me. I was betraying the messy, spontaneous Luis that I have been for 22 years.
- •I was someone elseI was quiet, thinking just about one think, in order, not moving all the time. My feet were not moving, neither my hands. I was able to stay sit, and my brainstorm mind was quite.
- •I wasn't thinking like meWhen people said "red" I wasn't thinking about how mustangs are usually red, then how much I wanted to buy a new convertible mustang, so I could make a road trip to California, eating in-and out for the first time; visiting a vintage watch boutique in SF; then translating to me wanting to go alone to Japan, visiting the forest, and how When I think about Japan I think about the Great Wave... Etc etc But I wasn't thinking like that anymore
- •I'm that messy guyI'm that guy who interrupts, who is always thinking about something, who has the most random stories, who feels like running in the middle of the grocery aisle when he was working; who every time his boss told him "kill the shelf and build a display" thought about and Ak-47 and made machine gun sounds🔫🔫💥💥. I'm that guy who day dreams 24/7, and work twice as hard in order to live with this beauty of ADHA
- •So unless I really needed, Adderall or anything like that is not for me. Never
- •I will always be Luis