The Moment You Realize You've Turned Into an LA Douchebag

  1. This beautiful Monday morning,
  2. While wearing yoga pants,
  3. I drove my Prius,
  4. While listening to NPR,
  5. And honking at yoga bitches on Larchmont,
  6. To get 8 bottles of juice for a 1 day juice cleanse,
  7. Then bought a $15 green salad entitled "I am Fulfilled" at Cafe Gratitude.
  8. All so I can lose 3 pounds of water weight for a headshot photo shoot tomorrow.
  9. Apologies to my NYC peeps.