HOW TO DATE CASUALLY

I guess someone requested this list from @DanaDigsYou, but she sent it to me? 'Cause apparently I'm the Queen of Casual Dating. So here is how to do that.
  1. 1.
    Be honest, especially with yourself. Keeping it casual is ~cool~ and ~trendy~ but it is totally fine to NOT want that at all. Dating casually (for the context of this list at least) means there is no future. It's not going anywhere. It's just for fun. And if that doesn't sound fun to you, don't do it.
  2. 2.
    Even if you think of someone as your human dildo/human fleshlight, you still have to treat them like they're human. Be nice. Be respectful. This is especially true for some cis straight guys who treat ladiez like shit: saying yes to sex is not saying yes to sexism.
  3. 3.
    Anyway, on to the fun part! So here's how to date casually, according to me.
  4. 4.
    Fill your life with awesome shit. So, if your casual dating buddy is busy one weekend, so are you. Don't take the time you'd put into a relationship and put it into a casual thing. Put that time into friends & family & Spanish classes & your writing group & your career & dancing & traveling & that book & I'll stop talking about myself now.
  5. 5.
    Don't overthink it. They didn't text back! Oh no! Maybe they don't like you! Yeah...maybe they don't. Maybe they forgot all 'bout you. Sigh. Oh well. Shrug it off & go on Tinder & hang out with your friends. You got rejected. And that's ok! Oh and look at that, they just texted you. Or they didn't. Idk. Who cares. You know how to masturbate.
    Oh yeah and never be afraid to text them first. The worst case scenario is they ignore you/stop liking you and who cares. If who texts who can ruin a relationship, it deserves to be ruined. 💁
  6. 6.
    Keep your options open. I mean, don't feel pressured to see other people just 'cause it is casual with your person. But checking people out (IRL and online and hypothetically) is FUN so do it and enjoy it. Enjoy appreciating all those sexy options even if you aren't pursuing them.
    If you have the time & desire to, you should totally pursue those options.
  7. 7.
    Do not make any major adjustments or sacrifices for your dating buddy. They should be convenient. Don't plan your life around them.
  8. 8.
    Be healthy. Condoms. Communication. Be kind to them & to yourself. Be honest with them & with yourself. After the casual thing has gone on for a while, make sure you both A) agree it is casual and B) agree on wtf that even means. "Casual dating" is ambiguous.
  9. 9.
    Don't invest in them. Sure, talk about your careers & problems if you want! Give advice! Get advice! But don't invest heavily in them.
  10. 10.
    You know. As I write this it's occurred to me that there's a difference between "casual ONLY" and being casual in your approach to dating. My approach is casual, most of my dating is casual. But I'm reluctantly open to more and I think most casual dating types are.
  11. 11.
    Cause if you find someone who is super fun and wonderful--you may have found someone worth adjusting for and investing in and committing to. They'll be one of those awesome things in your life. You started casual and ended up serious and that's great.
  12. 12.
    So I take back my original thing that casual means no future no matter what. Replace that with no expectation of a future.
  13. 13.
    I'm too lazy to erase it and rewrite stuff.
  14. 14.
    SO.
  15. 15.
    Ok.
  16. 16.
    In summary: To date casually, you must see your partner as a fun, non demanding part of your life, one for which you have no expectations, no future with. It's just something (or someone) you enjoy doing...for now.
    If it's not fun don't do it. This isn't a relationship where you fight and work through things. The only reason for casual dating is enjoyment.
  17. 17.
    Until they get you to stick around and you are pleasantly surprised and fall in ~love~ and then...good for you.
  18. 18.
    But if it is just that--a fun, temporary thing--call it what it is and enjoy it for what it is. Cause it's fuun.
    Side note: Ending things, even casual ones, is not fun. Do it band-aid style. Don't ghost. Just tell them: this is done, wish you all the best, bye. If someone does that to you, you can cry or be like sorry which one are you again? It's fine either way but don't get angry at a casual buddy for treating the relationship like it's...well...casual.
  19. 19.
    Did I do this right, Dana? This is why I don't give relationship advice 😁.