Things I Tell Myself Every Morning

  1. I can shower and get dressed in an hour, so I still have time to drink this coffee while I watch the news.
  2. I can shower and get dressed in 45 minutes, so I have time to rewind the news and watch the part I didn't hear because I was on Facebook.
  3. I can totally get clean and dressed in half an hour, so I have time to watch this video of a dog pointing to his favorite stuffed animal.
  4. The dog picked pizza. So worth watching that video.
  5. If I don't shave my legs, I'm out the door in 25 minutes. I'm going to finish the coffee I forgot about while I was on Facebook.
  6. Cold coffee is actually kind of refreshing.
  7. I'm going to add just enough hot coffee to warm up this cup. I hate cold coffee.
  8. Dry shampoo, hairy legs, minimal makeup. I can do this in 15 minutes.
  9. Candy Crush. Just until I finish this cup of coffee or run out of lives. Whichever comes first.
  10. I showered late in the day yesterday and didn't sweat. I'll be dressed and ready in under 10, and I'll just shower later after I exercise. Saving water!
  11. Tomorrow I'm definitely waking up early, exercising, and not turning on the TV - or picking up my phone - until after I shower.