Top 5 Things I Hear From My Therapist

  1. 5.
    I'm not one of the voices in your head and yes, I can prove it.
  2. 4.
    Stop calling me Sigmund.
  3. 3.
    You can retake your IQ test as many times as you want and it won't change anything.
  4. 2.
    You're not copaying me enough to put up with this bullshit.
  5. 1.
    The couch cannot accommodate two people if they're both laying down and no, I will not be testing that anytime soon.