My Daughter's Friend is Probably a Racist
And we can thank her parents.
- •For awhile now, I have known that this girl's parents are Trump supporters. The girls got close at dance and Mom and I are friendly.The Trump thing will come into play in a bit. Hang in there with me for a moment.
- •Anyway, because our kids are Chinese and we are Caucasian, we have a very open, ongoing dialogue about race, racism, stereotypes, and different backgrounds and cultures.This has not only helped them with any issues they may have but, helps with empathy toward others.
- •Now, my daughter's absolute BFF is biracial, so they talk about issues involving heritage and race. They are such amazing girls but, of course, there have been people who have said racist things to them.
- •But now this other girl, of the Trump supporting parents, tells the BFF that when they all travel the world together, BFF should go to her "hometown" in Africa. Trump kid says she will go to Italy where her family is from.
- •Now this is where I get confused.I say, "I know her Mom is Italian but, isn't her homeland Africa too? Her Dad is black."
- •BFF says, "I thought so too but, she says that her uncle is married to a black woman and that's why there are black people in her family."Hmmmm
- •So, now I'm wondering if this girl's heritage is being kept from her or has she been told to not say anything and keep it secret.It's kind of a gut feeling like they are either expecting her to hide it or aren't telling her at all or does she really not get it.
- •Like, does she see dark skin as just skin color and if you don't have that complexion you are also not of that ancestry? Light skin and light blue don't erase heritage but maybe she doesn't understand that.
- •Now we move ahead to the Trump discussion via group text that daughter, BFF and the Trump girl were involved in.It started out with a reaaallly misguided attempt to place Mexico in either Africa or Europe. Yes my daughter knew it was Central/North America.
- •BFF said "Africa because they are dark."Ok, not good but, there is a sort of a logic in it.
- •Now Trump kid says, "No, they are from Europe and they get brown because of the yard work they do in the sun."Oh FUUUUUUUUUUUDGE. Is this how she perceives the Latin community in general?
- •But then, the convo continues with her texting, "That's why we need Trump because he'll round them up and send them back where they came from."FUCK. Although I knew the family was voting for Trump to hear that garbage come out of a 12 year old's mouth totally put me off. And I know she's parroting her parents.
- •I asked my daughter if BFF said anything. Apparently she just ignored it because she, at 12, is a Hillary girl.BFF's Mom, my good friend, hates Hillary and is also voting for Trump. I think it has more to do with that than anything else. I'm not thrilled though
- •This is when my daughter texts, "Guys, Mexico is in Central America"
- •Nothing else has come from it but, I'm so disturbed that this poor kid is so messed up with not only hiding/not knowing who she is (again gut feeling only) and that she is soooooo unsympathetic towards others.And so very, very messed up about others' cultures and POC. And geography.
- •I think my daughter will have to decide what this attitude does to the friendship.I'm just glad she felt comfortable with me to tell me and to realize how the comments were just not right or fair.