We live 10 minutes from Long Island's Splish Splash. Except for once 28 years ago, I hadn't been back. Now we have season passes and I am doing well in all these events.
  1. Sunscreen Application
  2. Line Waiting
  3. Waterslide Stairclimbing
  4. Waterslide Screaming
  5. Inner Tube Flail
  6. Shivering
  7. Stranger Grabbing
  8. Towel Wringing
  9. Anxiety
  10. Knee Scraping
  11. Knee Bleeding
  12. Knee Pain
  13. Eavesdropping on Whiny Kids and Their Parents and Then Laugh to Yourself Because They Sound Like Your Family
  14. Saying 'No' to Overpriced French Fries Because We Live 10 Minutes Away and I Just Went Shopping
  15. Saying 'No' to Souvenirs Because You Are There Twice a Week and There Is No Point
  16. Triathlon: Lounging, Sunning, and Digging Toes in the Sand of the Fake Beach
  17. Chasing Your Ungrateful Kid
  18. Child Scolding
  19. Find the Closest Bathroom
  20. Wet Bathing Suit Removal
  21. Vehicle Hunt in the Hot-as-Hell Parking Lot