Things I Cried About This Morning

Damn Litton Weekend Adventures!
  1. An adolescent Great White shark gets stranded in low tide. The rescue team pulls it along a boat for 30 minutes but it never shows signs of life. They decide to bring it in for study. Suddenly, it wiggles! They set it free!
    CRYING! Swim, teen shark! SWIIIIM!
  2. A baby sea lion is laying motionless on a beach. He has been bit by a shark and has a huge gash on his neck. They treat him with, among other things, honey and saltwater. They name him Honey Badger because of his feistiness and his treatment. He lives and they set him free!
    CRYING AGAIN! Swim Honey Badger! SWIIIM!
  3. A sloth has been pregnant for 50 weeks. She goes into labor but only a tiny paw is out. The vets try to reposition but it's difficult. They are pretty sure they have lost the baby. Finally, it is repositioned and slides out. It vocalizes! It lives!
    CRYING ONE MORE TIME! Vocalize, baby sloth! VOCALIIIIIIZE!