A Running List of Things My Grandma Has Said

I love my grandma dearly but I think sometimes she doesn't realize what she's saying. My grandma in the north to be clear, you'll hear about my grandparents in the south too but probably about all the sweet things they do. They show their affection in more normal ways.
  1. We'll start with the things she said to/about @sophster when she came to France with me last summer
    Can I just say that was the time of my life
  2. "She was inspired by Rihanna right, that's why she did it"
    On her shaved head (she was not)
  3. "She has a nose piercing right"
    She does not
  4. "But she drinks (alcohol) right"
    She does not
  5. "She (sophia) has been eyeing her glass of wine all night"
    She definitely was not
  6. "Drink the champagne" this one was for sophia and I. She said it was "not normal" that we didn't want to try the champagne and she proceeded to basically pour it in my mouth (I'm exaggerating but not much)
    We were at one of those place where they show you how it's made and they give you a little taste at the end our house is in the champagne region so there are a lot of those around. I don't know what her deal with Sophia and alcohol was.
  7. Now for the rest
    These are not in any particular order
  8. After not seeing me for 4 years this was last years greeting "Hi oh my gosh you have a lot of acne"
    To be fair I did have a lot of acne, but we could have talked about that like 3 minutes later maybe
  9. After my mom telling my grandma it was rude of her to greet me like that "I did not she's lying"
    Everyone was standing right there. And I'm not even the one who brought it up.
  10. "Shhh the cat is talking to me"
  11. "Yeah my eye, organic things don't really exist they're all just lies" later that week "I'm not eating this if it's not organic"
    I tried so hard not to laugh
  12. Showing a picture of us at Christmas dinner "look they're at a table with a lot of Asians" 🙄
    Yes and right now I am in a house full of white people. 🙄 oh grandma
  13. "Oh my gosh your fridge is full what are you going to do with all that food, what a waste"
    Um we're going to eat it. Her fridge is just as full and it doesn't have 4+ mouths to feed.
  14. "You shouldn't drink sparkling water" this is because 6 years ago (6 years ago) the doctor gave me the wrong results that said I had a uti and apparently sparkling water isn't good for those. But they fixed the mix up and I ended up not even having it. And even if I did it was 6 years ago.
  15. "Well I don't drink sugary drinks only water"
    On us drinking fruit flavored water at our fist meal in France after eating barely anything the entire plane ride.
  16. "I sweat a little this morning I think I need sugar" as she proceeds to eat a kinder bar
    An important factor here is she's diabetic.AND she's always giving us health lessons
  17. "You don't ever have to change the oil in a fryer. Oil doesn't go bad"
    When my mom suggest that maybe what made my grandma sick after she ate her French fries was the oil.
  18. "We need to cleanse your liver"
    Yes this will cure all my acne of course grandma
  19. "Yeah rice milk is good you should try it, it's nice and light" after my mom try's it "on no it's gross. Tastes like water"
  20. "Saucisson is not good for you"
    Really, and all this time I thought it was a health food
  21. "Everyone has heard of Violetta, it is not normal that you have not heard of Violetta"
    She said this to me and I heard her say it again today. ( not to me this time though)
  22. After seeing a recent picture of my dad "well you wouldn't want to cross him at a street corner at night"
    This made me laugh because my dad is like 5'3 and the sweetest person ever. In the picture he was standing under a ladybug umbrella. And he's arriving this Saturday yay.