If a Puppy Hired a Publicist 🐶
It's time for puppy to work on his image.
- •Hi, hi, ok so time is money, so let's get down to business.
- •Hmm, so man's best friend is your goal, with belly rubs as a sub-objective. Ok, I can work with this...
- •Listen, puppy. I think I can get you the number one spot on mankind's annual best friends list. But, you are going to have to trust me.
- •A few things. The tongue, darling, we've got to keep that thing under control. Saliva is just a huge turnoff. Who's kissing an mutt with a slobbery mug? Just his mom. Got it?
- •Ok. Belly rubs...no one wants to touch a fat stomach, can I tell you that. Do you see potbelly pigs getting belly rubs? Right. Didn't think so...let's set you up with a trainer. Circle back with my assistant at the front desk.
- •And last let's talk about playing hard to get. I know, I know it's tough but trust me Beyoncé did not get to where she is today by giving it up. You can NOT rush to the door every day when he gets home from work. More than that, cut back on the kisses, let's say cut back 80%.
- •..:::sad acceptance:::..
- •I'm going to pitch you to all kinds of pubs. So you've gotta be ON I mean O-N all the time. One bad paparazzi shot. We're done, sweetheart. So let's keep that tongue in our mouth. And licking yourself, absolutely out of the question. You feel tempted to lick yourself? CALL my assistant. Got it?
- •Good, great. Listen, time is money I've got to go, big big meeting, can't tell you, all confidential. Very important. Ciao darling