What...you didn't have to memorize and recite "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" in 5th grade and now it's burned into your memory forever?
  1. If you give a mouse an iPhone he's going to ask for a MacBook Pro.
  2. When you give him the MacBook, he'll probably ask you if it has Retina display.
  3. Then he'll want to use it at Starbucks to make sure everyone notices his wealth and status.
  4. When he looks around Starbucks, he might notice that everyone has iPad Minis. So he'll probably ask for an iPad Mini.
  5. When you're back at the Apple Store, he'll want an employee to help with the purchase.
  6. He'll start looking for an employee, and he might get carried away screaming at every employee in the store.
  7. He may even end up proclaiming to them the "large" amount of money he has spent at the Apple Store.
  8. When he's done, he'll probably want to take a nap.
  9. You have to prop up his iPad on the bedside table so he can watch Hulu as he falls to sleep.
  10. He'll crawl in, make himself comfortable, and browse through a couple of shows.
  11. He'll probably ask you for a show recommendation.
  12. So you recommend one of your favorites, and he'll probably start berating your taste halfway through the pilot.
  13. When he continues his rant, he'll get so excited that he'll want to write a blog post.
  14. He'll ask you to bring him his new MacBook Pro.
  15. He'll write a scathing post.
  16. When the post is finished, he'll want to plaster his opinion on several Internet forums.
  17. Then he'll want to shout his thoughts on a social platform which means he'll need...
  18. ...a Twitter account.
  19. He'll post his opinions and stand back an look at them.
  20. Looking at Twitter will remind him that...
  21. ...he's hungry for more attention.
  22. So...he'll scream, "Where is that damn iPhone."
  23. And chance are, if he is searching for his new iPhone...
  24. ...he's going to download The List App.
  25. 🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀