THOUGHTS GOING THROUGH MY MIND AS I WRITE ABOUT A CHARACTER LOCKED IN A DARK ROOM IN MY NOVEL

  1. Why did I do this again?
  2. Nothing is happening. Because it's dark and you can't see anything.
  3. Did I mention how you can't see anything?
  4. Still nothing happening.
  5. Oh! Is something about to -- no, sorry, false alarm. Still nothing happening.
  6. It'd be easier if you could see something and if something were happening.
  7. Oh. Another chapter? In which we are still locked in a dark room where NOTHING HAPPENS? Excellent.
  8. How many times do you think you can get away with writing, It was so dark she couldn't see her hands in front of her face? Oh. That many? Huh.
  9. I'm going to go do some stuff--some other stuff--while you try to make this bullshit interesting.
  10. Wow. Still here. Still with the dark room. I'm a little surprised you haven't given that up yet.
  11. Let's imagine what you'd tell one of your students if she told you about the difficulty she was having writing about this very same thing.
  12. And then completely ignore your own advice I see since you're still writing about this dark room.
  13. Oh look. Everyone is awake now and you have to stop working and get ready. That's--that's a real shame. See everyone tomorrow. Or not. You know. Since it's so very dark in this room.