STUFF MY KID THINKS HE CAN DO BECAUSE IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY

(He just turned five)
  1. Try to get me to smell his butt
  2. Eat all of the lollipops
  3. Stay at the beach because leaving when mom says it's time is "not how it works"
  4. Hold the family hostage with a Phineas & Ferb marathon
  5. Call out periodically, to no one in particular, "Where's my birthday cake?"
  6. Teach his baby brother how to point & glare at his long-suffering mother and declare "YOURE MEAN!" when he doesn't get his way
  7. Announce repeatedly, to no one in particular, that it's his birthday and he's not four anymore. He's five