THE STAGES OF WATCHING A SCARY MOVIE
I've sampled a pretty large proportion of the population and found that this can be applied universally.
- 1.The Suggestion"Yeah, let's watch a scary movie tonight! I'm so in the mood!" "No I hate that gore shit. You know I hate that gore shit." "No, I want it to be one none of us has seen."
- 2.The Decision"Yeah I vote this one." "This is going to be FUCKED."
- 3.The Indifference"This has a really slow start." "Also the acting is pretty questionable." "Is this supposed to be 'horror' or just 'psychological'?"
- 4.The Realization"Wait what the FUCK was that?" "It was the grandma" "But why was she doing that?!" "Ew I hate this"
- 5.The Submission"NO DON'T LET HER PUT YOU IN THE OVEN OH MY GOD" "I HATE THIS WHY THE FUCK DID WE DECIDE TO WATCH THIS" "OH MY GOD IS THAT A DIAPER FULL OF BLOOD?"
- 6.The Regret"I'm never going to be able to play Yahtzee the same way again" "This is why I'm glad I don't have grandparents" "Ugh turn on The Office god damn it"