I Love It When

  1. people whose internal organs are festering inside their medieval dungeon-like bodies make fun of me for eating healthy
  2. someone who is clearly lying says "are you calling me a liar?!"
  3. people try to aggressively befriend me when they really want to just ask my boyfriend for a favor
  4. much younger or much older women look at me cattily
  5. you call me big poppa