YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN NEWPORT RHODE ISLAND WHEN...

I grew up visiting my family during the summer in Newport a very waspy summer enclave
  1. All the lights are off in the house except for the one room you are in
  2. Day drinking doesn't count if it's made in a blender
  3. Day drinking doesn't count as long as you play tennis
  4. Your house is usually your grandmother's and needs serious repairs
  5. Lunch could be cheese and triscuits
  6. There is plenty of talk of tax savings and estate planning but none of getting jobs or having a career to make any money. There is very little money left from the trust they got in the 70s.
  7. The massive houses called "Cottages" are all open to the public for tours or available for random weddings
  8. When I get excited to say Taylor Swift lives in Watch Hill I get a dirty look
  9. The most common greeting I get is "So what does the Hamptons have that we don't?"