THINGS MY STUDENTS TALK ABOUT THAT I WISH THEY WOULDN'T

I'm the dean of the class of 2018 at a fancy private high school in NYC.I am responsible for 155 9th graders who like to chill on the couches of my office and let me eavesdrop.
  1. Promposals
    This wasn't a thing when I was in hs, but now if you want to go to prom with someone you have to make a big production and like, surprise her with trombones in Chemistry. It's super hetero-normative and strikes me as exclusionary. I hate it. They love it.
  2. 50 Shades of Grey
    Self explanatory. If I have to hear one more 14 year old say "the lifestyle", I might barf.
  3. Sexy dresses they would like to buy
    There's a lot of shopping during free periods. And everything is about how hot you're going to look and how much money you will spend. And I prefer to think they are sexless. And more class conscious.
  4. Where they want to go to college
    It's 9th grade! Slow your roll! Live in the moment!!
  5. Each other
    Teenagers can be just as mean as you remember them being and it breaks my little heart.