Approved Epitaphs for My Tombstone

  1. She was as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field
  2. It's nice to be nice, but it's not nice that she is dead
  3. Ding dong the witch is dead...
  4. Looks like you are all just going to have to starve now...
  5. Intrigue, Intelligence, Money Launderer, High Stakes Gambler, Spy, Supermodel, Notorious MMA fighter, Beloved Top Chef, Philanthropist, NY Times Best Selling Author, Lounge Singer, Mixologist. Nope. Boring Old Housewife died of Pneumonia when she locked herself out of the house while drunk in January.