5 photos on my phone, chosen at random

  1. My husband is using an all-natural hair growth system for one reason....to get laid more
  2. My sad ass son in a Minecraft costume. I have no idea what Mincraft is but spent $200 on it last year and we have coordinating character costumes
  3. I sold my car on Craigslist and kept the cash to myself...
  4. The food I tossed in trash prior to my 20th failed diet