THESE ARE MY CONFESSIONS

Inspired by @originalamericantreat and to be immediately deleted if my parents ever get on this app (extremely unlikely). All I can say is EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES so please don't judge.
  1. Yes, it was me who printed out the AIM conversation comparing "wenises vs. penises" on my dad's computer
    I was in third grade, blamed it on my friends cousin? That DEF worked...
  2. No, it was not the "older senior girl who came by to drop off class notes" who left a receipt for 4 handles of flavored vodka in our family's front hallway.
    That was me. And I think I was 21 so like why lie?
  3. It was also me who made the paper mâché mittens from some rolls of toilet paper and left them in the closet.
    No, mom, it was not the workmen who were fixing the basement.
  4. IT WAS ME who ate the last piece of pizza at the party we weren't invited to in high school.
    This one was actually really 😳but also v 😎 and 😂. @crossetter #AMIRITE?
  5. Also, one time* I looked at my booger after blowing my nose
    *more like every time as long as nobody is looking... Don't hate me? 😎