Things I Learned While Cleaning My Apartment

I took my ADHD medication this morning. Im convinced that is a legal prescription form of cocaine (I have never actually done crack, mostly because its illegal but also because I have a mild heart condition and I'm afraid I would die) after taking my meds I became very aware and annoyed by the clothing on my body, I took it off and started to clean
  1. Cleaning naked is empowering but also frightening
    I opened up all of the windows and doors in my home to maximize the airflow (the legal Coke was making me sweat) though it was liberating to be feeling the breeze in places that typically don't see the light of day. I found myself constantly checking my six (as they say in Law & Order SVU) paranoid that my pastor might have decided to spontaneously drop by unannounced.
  2. As a female vacuum owner, vacuum maintenance is of the upmost importance.
    I learned this after stubbornly trying to vacuum up a single kernel of corn for at least 3 minutes before submitting and pick it up with my hand. You can only imagine the amount of hair that accumulates on the floor of an apartment shared by four ladies. I learned just how much hair needs to be caught in the bristles of my vacuum before it stops properly working. I cut off what seems like a pound of hair with surgical scissors I stole from the hospital (shout out to CMC's lack of supervision)
  3. Tea grows mold
    I am self proclaimed tea master, I love tea. I drink a lot of tea, therefore I make a lot of tea. I also leave half empty mugs of tea strewn about the house (this is something I'm working on) I learned that a layer of mold can grow on tea a lot faster than one would think.
  4. Dusting is underrated
    Mom, i'm sorry I argued you every time you made me dust the house as a child. I now know that it's necessary to consistently dust to avoid breathing in inch thick layers of mine and my housemates dead skin.
  5. Bathrooms scare me
    On my caffeine and Vyvance fueled cleaning rampage, I learned that bathrooms freak me out. The bathroom is the only zone of the house I did not clean. I leave this to my housemates, because I have an irrational yet extremely valid fear of menstrual blood. I refuse.