People I'd Like to Punch in the Face

I'm not usually very violent or aggro, but these people... If I wasn't afraid of catching a charge, these people are first on my list.
  1. Social Media Spoilers
    People who post about TV shows on social media while the show is airing.* This is 2015. Most people use DVR to avoid commercials and/or have a life. If you tell me who got kicked off Project Runway or my personal favorite "Five minutes into the final episode of American Horror story and half the cast is dead". YOU'RE TERRIBLE. *this does not include live events that occur yearly like the Super Bowl, awards shows, etc.. That's okay. Everyone is live tweeting that. Do you.
  2. Airport line people
    All the people that sit in zone 4 and line up right before they open the door to the jetway, you're the reason the baby Jesus weeps. People boarding because they have children, need assistance, have priority boarding, have the airlines sky miles card, sit in first class, and zones 1-3 have to go before you. And then because you're lined up for nothing, they have to go around you. SIT. DOWN.
  3. Jeff who managed The Max from Saved by the Bell for two episodes
    He broke Zack and Kelly up. That's enough.
  4. People who write the suggestions for autocorrect
    I write Snapchat, you change it to snatch. As in "check out my snatch". We all know ducking, shot, and he'll are terrible, but I guarantee I mean "food" a lot more often than I meant to say "good". Stop it.
  5. Goldilocks
    She broke into a bear's home, trashed the place, ate their snacks, took a nap, and didn't get eaten when they came home? She deserved to be Papa Bear's dinner.
  6. Email signature quotes and the people that copy/paste them
    Nope. Work emails shouldn't contain Eminem quotes or inspirational items you grabbed from Pinterest. Get your life together. This is not MySpace.
  7. Parking Lot Stalkers
    Unless the lot is full or you have a medical need, there's no need to wait for my spot at a grocery store. They have CARTS for your things. You can probably walk the three yards from the next available spot. Sit there with your blinker on. I'll check Twitter in my car for a while once I've returned my cart to the cart corral. Which leads me to my next item...
  8. People that don't return their carts at a store
    People hate you. I hope you know that. Don't be so lazy that you leave your cart in a parking space or four wheel it up on a curb in the lot. That took more effort than rolling it 50 feet away to the cart return.
  9. People at the ATM in front of me
    Please don't try to refinance your home using the ATM. Get your cash and go.
  10. Joffrey Baratheon
    We all hated him. Let's be honest.
  11. Guy Fieri