Armed with nearly infinite money -- one Super Bowl commercial cost $170,000 a second in 2016 -- the advertising industry trotted out all of its best ideas to capture your attention while you watched the Denver Broncos beat the Carolina Panthers. We've listed our favorite ads below, and you can watch them all here:
  1. Heinz: The cutest wiener dog stampede
    So simple, yet so beautiful: this year's big viral ad features dachshunds stampeding down a hill and leaping into the arms of eagerly awaiting ketchups (and one wee little ketchup packet).
  2. Pantene: Burly men get gentle
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    NFL Players doing their daughters' hair is your daily dose of adorable.
  3. Budweiser: Helen Mirren's witty drunk-shaming
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    Helen Mirren eloquently shames drunk drivers as "pillocks".
  4. Kia: Chris Walken makes beige socks a metaphor for your boring life
    The actor uses his trademark threatening matter -- and sock puppets -- to chill you into buying a different kind of car.
  5. Drake: The smiling sellout
    Only Drake can make selling out to cellphone executives so charming. Watch what happens when Hotline Bling gets a dose of real-life contractual language.
  6. Audi: Shoot for the moon
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    David Bowie's voice lifts you higher in this Audi commercial about a retired astronaut finding his love of life -- and machines -- again.
  7. Shock Top: T.J. Miller flames a beer tap
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    The "Silicon Valley" star is gloriously absurdist in his clever retorts to a snarky beer tap.
  8. Avocados from Mexico: Questioning human progress
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    Aliens visiting a human museum decide avocados were the only thing we had going for us.
  9. Snickers: Willem Dafoe gets beautiful
    Before Marilyn Monroe was an icon, she was Willem Dafoe before his first Snickers bar. We can think of worse things than looking like Willem Dafoe, however.
  10. Budweiser: Mocking your craft beer
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    Budweiser will use its famous Clydesdale horses to stamp out the craft beer revolution.
  11. LG: Liam Neeson saves futuristic TV from its haters
    The actor saves bendable TV screens from the future dystopia in this Tron-like thriller directed by Ridley Scott.
  12. Death Wish Coffee: A Viking reckoning
    The plucky upstate New York startup won 30 free seconds at the Super Bowl from Intuit QuickBooks and created this clever Viking-themed ad.
  13. Pepsi: Janelle Monae's talent blows you away
    Janelle Monae's talent takes her from the 50s to the present day in this kicky commercial from Pepsi that almost acts like its own halftime show.
  14. Hyundai: Ryan Reynolds everywhere
    Ryan Reynolds is the most appealing -- and omnipresent -- man on earth in Hyundai's new Super Bowl ad.
  15. Axe: The truth about men
    Axe's groundbreaking new campaign redefines what makes men individual and attractive, from big noses to great moves. Its contempt for six-packs is a nice counterpoint to the manly men who predominate as the ideal.
  16. Bud Light: Unity and big caucuses
    Amy Schumer and Seth Rogen unite America by bragging about the size of their caucuses and reminding us all that we all love Paul Rudd.
  17. Skittles: Diva versus diva
    Demanding Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler, irritated at a distraction from warping values and twisting young minds, challenges his Skittles portrait to outdo him until it collapses.
  18. Amazon: Alexa saves the day
    Amazon's first-ever Super Bowl ad shows its Echo artificial intelligence guide, Alexa, as the smartest person in the room, saving Alec Baldwin from his own bombast.
  19. Jeff Goldblum makes house-hunting look joyous
    Jeff Goldblum inspires you with a choir and Lil Wayne singing the theme song to "The Jeffersons" as George Washington barbecues. Now this is America. Movin' on up indeed.
  20. Fitbit: The warrior class is here
    Fitbit shows you don't have to pump weights in a gym to be a warrior every day.
  21. Acura: One look and you get it
    Acura shows a gorgeous NSX rising from a sea of mercury, amid only a few classic-rock yells. The lesson: Who needs words? Look, and you'll see all there is.
  22. Mountain Dew: Turning cute into terrifying
    The beverage shows that mashing together three cute things can create one terrifying thing.
  23. Hyundai: Parental stalking rises a notch
    Hyundai's carfinder GPS function is also a PSA: dear Dads of America, here's how to stalk your possibly sexually active daughter.
  24. Butterfinger: A $50,000 reward for boldness
    Butterfinger, hoping to promote boldness in all its forms, is offering to pay the fines for any NFL player who celebrates enough to break NFL rules. Cam Newton, we're looking at you.
  25. Pokemon: Fighting on the fields
    Pokemon's first Super Bowl ad ever makes you feel the thrill of taking on all those weird creatures.
  26. Mini: The perfect response to limiting stereotypes
    If Abby Wambach and Serena Williams defy stereotypes, shouldn't you?
  27. Coke: You'd never think the Hulk would lose like this
    Speed beats size every time, Coke reminds us with a cute nod to Marvel superheroes.
  28. Prius: Badass but highly conservative chase
    One critique of this ad from Twitter users: only an affluent white man could get away with leading the cops on this kind of chase.
  29. Honda: Singing sheep win the day
    Animals do well, and singing animals do even better in this adorable ad set to a beloved Queen song.