THINGS ABOUT FLYING THAT MAKE ME WANT TO PUNCH SOMEONE
Disclaimer: I've never punched someone
- •When the flight attendant gives you a cup without the canGive me the damn can and not a 4 oz flimsy plastic cup filled to the brim waiting to be knocked over by the next person who walks down the aisle to take a unforgiving dump. I've come to accept the disappearance of the peanuts and pretzels, but this I won't stand for.
- •People who take five thousand years to get into their seatIf you're not capable of swinging your bag into the overhead compartment in one fell swoop, you should either have checked your bag or purchase a gym membership. Also taking off your jacket or opening your purse does not require standing in the aisle in front of the other 50 people waiting behind you to get to their seat.
- •The people who cut you in line when boardingNot only do I feel the need to punch them in the face. They are also inevitably the ones who take 10 minutes getting out of the aisle into their seat.
- •People who steal the outletsLuckily this issue seems to becoming obsolete as airports are finally catching into the fact that humans are addicted to technology. Still, I will judge you if you lay down around a outlet for two hours. I need to check Instagram, too.
- •The guy with a BAC of .2Starts out loud and obnoxious sans alcohol and it only goes downhill from there. Currently inspired by the man threatening the stewardess for cutting him off. He claims to be a millionaire psychologist, disabled veteran who will have ALL of his lawyers sue her. Plastic zips came out, it shut him up.