THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT BEING A HIGHLY SOUGHTAFTER MOCAP ARTIST

  1. Balls. Balls everywhere. Balls stuck to every inch of you. Just covered in balls.
  2. Helmets must be worn at all times. In case more balls come at you. And to hold a camera three inches from your face.
  3. Outfits that make everybody else wish something, ANYTHING was left to the imagination.
  4. It is impossible to not dance like a cracked out gorilla when you see the stick version of yourself on a computer screen moving when you move.
  5. Neon dots painted on your face like a snot version of hellraiser.
  6. Your gun is a stick, your desk is a four foot Lego box and your horse is a barrel on a rope rocked by a stagehand named Gus. But it'll look alright in computer!
  7. You are always correcting people that you are a "highly sought after mocap artiste"... Not "artist". Artists are gutter wenches like porcelain dog sculpture painters or the Belgians.