Unabridged, unedited, and unbelievable sometimes
  1. "So, do you go to school for this...you must be failing that course"
  2. "How much have you had to drink? I assume you are allowed to be drunk on the job..."
  3. "You don't have Coca-Cola? Do you hate kids?"
  4. "We have somewhere to be in 10 minutes, can you tell the kitchen to hurry our order up"
    *this was said literally as they were being sat, mid rush during Friday night dinner service
  5. "I would like a well done burger, now I mean a very well done burger. I don't want to see any pink and can't do blood" —burger comes out— "um my burger isn't done right, I can still see some red"...while she is holding the ketchup bottle she just used
  6. "My tips keep your lights on, so I better not see the bottom of this glass,"
  7. "I'll take a water with no ice, I know what you do to your ice," upon asking him what he meant, his reply: "come on man, all the dirty water that you don't use? Ice cubes, bro"
  8. "Hey I really appreciate the service. I loved how we were left unattended and no one asked if we needed anything," - from the couple who sat themselves at a dirty table