Extremely Useful Things That No One Uses

  1. The lunch tray. A convenient way to have a well-balanced, government subsidized meal- if only it were cool enough for high schoolers.
  2. The bubble umbrella. Commonly used in Asia, it's a great way to sift through heavy foot traffic without stabbing your fellow pedestrians.
  3. Carmex. It's not just for black people anymore.
  4. The bike. Look at this spry young college student. Now look at his "friends" See the envy in their eyes? If you want a speedy way to get around campus, look no further than the classic bicycle. Unfortunately, the bikes negative stigma has caused a decline in sales for the past 14 years! #SaveTheBikes #DestigmatizeBiking
  5. Lube. Everyone talks about it, but why don't you pick some up today for more fun and less painful sex.