10 Objects Around Your House That Are Actually Just Tilda Swinton Getting Lost in a Role

  1. You see that lamp in the corner? Look again — a wisp of blond hair is your only clue that it’s no ordinary lamp.
  2. This delicious pizza you’re about to enjoy? Doesn’t that pizza seem a little taller than you remember? And pizzas don’t normally have eyes, do they?
  3. I mean, some days when you look in the mirror, does it take you a second to recognize yourself? That’s because it’s not really you… It’s Tilda Swinton, hiding inside your wall.
  4. This morning, I noticed the ironing board seemed softer than I remembered… Then it came to me — isn’t SONY making a movie about an ironing board?
  5. As I lay on the floor, I thought: I don’t remember getting a rug this shape…
  6. I tried to make some soup but I think the electric kettle is broken. It was whistling so strangely and the water wouldn’t boil at all — also it had hands. Did our kettle always have hands?
  7. I went to brush my teeth but the toothbrush was very heavy and wouldn’t fit into my mouth at all. It seemed so much larger than it was the day before. I could’ve sworn it had grown by almost six feet…
  8. Now the shower head keeps staring at me. Also, the shower head is starting to look a lot more like a real, human head.
  9. And, by the way, I feel like our garbage can used to hold so much more garbage. And when did it start crying all the time?
  10. On top of all that, I don’t remember buying this grandfather clock… wait a second… is that a short wisp of blond hair?