8 Moves You’ll Never Master in Bed, No Matter How Hard You Try
- •Pulling the corner of the sheet back over the mattress while you’re lying in it, after it comes off in the middle of the night.
- •Convincing yourself you don’t really need to go to the bathroom that badly.
- •Starting a dream where it left off last night because it was a really good dream.
- •Turning off the alarm clock using the power of your mind.
- •Getting the blankets back from under your dog.
- •Getting the proper amount of sleep if you work, or if you’re unemployed, or underemployed, or if you live with someone, or if you’re all alone, or if you have a baby, or if you have an older child, or if you’re infertile.
- •Solving homelessness.
- •That filthy, disgusting thing you just looked up on Urban Dictionary.