By Jake Dawe
  1. Philippians 4:13
    “I can ignore the Supreme Court through Christ, who strengthens me.”
  2. Psalm 119:105
    “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path and a flame unto my office trashcan in which I burn requests for same-sex marriage licenses.”
  3. Matthew 28:20
    “I am with you always, even unto the end of the world, even when you invoke my name and completely misunderstand the intended message of the New Testament.”
  4. Joshua 24:15
    “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord, and ignore the voting public who elected me to this office and awarded me a salary of $80,000 per year plus a comprehensive health and dental plan, which I will continue to collect during this controversy, though I no longer perform the duties of my office.”
  5. Romans 12:12
    “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer, obstinate in bureaucracy, discriminatory in work, and uncooperative in legal proceedings.”
  6. Psalm 17:8
    “Guard me from all evil things under the shadows of your wings, such as same-sex partners who have lived together longer and more faithfully than I have in any of my four marriages — the first marriage having fallen apart due to adultery, which I committed, resulting in twins born out of wedlock.”
  7. Exodus 20:14
    “You shalt not commit adultery, unless you commit adultery before you are born again.”
  8. I Corinthians 13:13
    “And now these four remain: faith, hope, love, and contempt of court. The greatest of these is love. Contempt of court is a close second.”
  9. Hebrews 2:13
    “I will put my trust in Him, believing He would want me to deny my neighbor equal protection under the law.”
  10. Psalm 46:10
    “Be still, and know that I am God. Be ignorant, and forget that I said more things about shellfish and foreskins than homosexuality.”