Buckle Up! Here Are Some Future Headlines After Trump is Elected

  1. Orange is the New Black
  2. Well Fuck
  3. Here is a Gallery of Puppies Finding Their Forever Homes (Trump was Elected President Yesterday)
  4. For Some Reason Scott Baio Sang (?) at Inauguration
  5. Job: Trump Seeking Unpaid Contractors to Paint White House Gold
  6. Pageant Organizer Wins “Ultimate Pageant,” Crowns Himself “Mr. America”
  7. Call Your Mother and Apologize
  8. Look at this Tattoo of Trump’s Speeches: Trump Stump Tramp Stamp
  9. Wait, Where Did All of the Women and People of Color Go?
  10. He Fucking Changed the Title of the Movie to “Ladies and the Trump”
  11. Well, well, well… (Front page of the National Enquirer)
  12. “Just Turn On the News” — Horror Movie Producers Quit in Droves
  13. Oh Beautiful for Racist Guys, for Amber Waves of President Trump’s Hair
  14. Earthquakes Reported in Rochester, N.Y. Turn Out to Just Be Susan B. Anthony Rolling in Her Grave
  15. Putin Responds ‘Maybe’ to Trump’s Facebook Invite to his Inauguration
  16. One Spam Email In and Trump’s White House Email Is Hacked
  17. President Adds Corners to Oval Office
  18. Barron Trump Named Nation’s First Child Cybersecurity Czar
  19. Oh No — He Found Out About Palestine
  20. Quick, Lassie! Get Help! Donald Trump is President!
  21. Miners Trapped Underground: ‘Is He Still President? Yeah Just Leave Us Here.’
  22. Trump Insiders Reveal That President Asked to Change the Nuke Codes to ‘1234’
  23. #OscarsSoWhite Is Turned To #OscarsSoRight
  24. Nation’s Capital Moved to Atlantic City
  25. Cool! 10 Wacky Ways to Avoid Being Sent to Trump’s Labor Camps!