Feminist Humblebrags

By Lindsay Finn
  1. “My doctor says I’m underweight, but I don’t care what a man thinks about my body.”
  2. “I was promoted to partner at the firm. It comes with a 30% raise that still isn’t as much as my male counterparts make, thanks to the wage gap.”
  3. “My father wants to walk me down the aisle at my seaside wedding. I told him that I don’t adhere to patriarchy, even on a yacht.”
  4. “The objectification of women has got to stop. I can’t even go for a jog without guys commenting on my ass.”
  5. “Four guys at the bar last night offered to buy me a drink. Thanks, but I’m an independent woman and I can buy my own.”
  6. “After the mariachi band finished playing at sunset, Robert got down on one knee, told me I was the ‘most perfect person’ he’d ever known, and asked me to make him the ‘luckiest man alive’ by marrying him. I said, ‘I hope you don’t expect me to change my last name.’”