How to Throw Like a Girl
By Valerie Nies
- •Apologize to the ball before throwing it.
- •Get paid 77 cents per every dollar a man gets paid to throw the same ball.
- •Throw a ball and watch a man take credit for throwing it.
- •Wear a pantsuit to fool people into thinking you’re actually a man throwing the ball.
- •Throw on a pink scarf so people know that even though you’re man enough to wear a pantsuit while throwing a ball, you’re also not afraid to show off your femininity.
- •Throw the ball through a glass ceiling.
- •Let a man interrupt you while throwing a ball.
- •Throw the ball and wonder if you’re achieving work-life balance.
- •See other women throw a ball. Compare your thighs to theirs.
- •Before throwing the ball, order a green juice, take a sip. Don’t finish it. It tastes terrible.
- •Find someone to tell you to smile more while throwing a ball.
- •Throw a ball and then reschedule your brunch plans for the fourth time.
- •Before throwing a ball, watch a YouTube hair tutorial and attempt a fishtail waterfall braid.
- •Throw a ball. Then, Tweet about it with the hashtag #ThrowLikeAGirl.
- •Throw a ball. Constantly ask others what they think of you throwing a ball.
- •Make a vision board of you throwing a ball.
- •After reading an article in Marie Claire, learn that the best way to throw a ball is to stop looking for a ball to throw.