How to Throw Like a Girl

By Valerie Nies
  1. Apologize to the ball before throwing it.
  2. Get paid 77 cents per every dollar a man gets paid to throw the same ball.
  3. Throw a ball and watch a man take credit for throwing it.
  4. Wear a pantsuit to fool people into thinking you’re actually a man throwing the ball.
  5. Throw on a pink scarf so people know that even though you’re man enough to wear a pantsuit while throwing a ball, you’re also not afraid to show off your femininity.
  6. Throw the ball through a glass ceiling.
  7. Let a man interrupt you while throwing a ball.
  8. Throw the ball and wonder if you’re achieving work-life balance.
  9. See other women throw a ball. Compare your thighs to theirs.
  10. Before throwing the ball, order a green juice, take a sip. Don’t finish it. It tastes terrible.
  11. Find someone to tell you to smile more while throwing a ball.
  12. Throw a ball and then reschedule your brunch plans for the fourth time.
  13. Before throwing a ball, watch a YouTube hair tutorial and attempt a fishtail waterfall braid.
  14. Throw a ball. Then, Tweet about it with the hashtag #ThrowLikeAGirl.
  15. Throw a ball. Constantly ask others what they think of you throwing a ball.
  16. Make a vision board of you throwing a ball.
  17. After reading an article in Marie Claire, learn that the best way to throw a ball is to stop looking for a ball to throw.