@McSweeneysLists

### Mathematical Word Problems for Introverts

1. At the grocery store, John bought 13 lemons that cost 89 cents each. He normally would not buy so many lemons, but he spotted a coworker from afar and panicked. How much did John pay for these unnecessary lemons?
2. On what was supposed to be a peaceful walk without any human interaction whatsoever, Julia hid behind 7 trees to avoid small talk with strangers. If Julia walked for 20 minutes, what was her average rate of trees per minute?
3. Todd went to a quiet restaurant to read and eat a meal by himself. How many times did he have to tell the waiter to set the table just for one?
4. 5 people called Henry on Saturday and actually expected him to pick up. How long did it take Henry to email them back?
5. Brian dragged Deirdre to a party. If Deirdre spent 6 minutes trapped in boring conversation with strangers, 13 minutes hovering alone near the hors d’oeuvres, and 8 minutes petting a dog in the corner, how much time passed before Deirdre decided to leave?
6. Larry’s Netflix account costs \$10 per month. If, over the course of a year, Larry stayed home every Friday and Saturday night, how many times did he hit the CONTINUE WATCHING button?