The Wisdom of a Cool Substitute High School Teacher

By Gunnar Wray
  1. “You guys ever listen to Bob Marley? Well, don’t worry. You will when you get to college.”
  2. “Really guys, it’s just my motorcycle helmet. No big deal.”
  3. “You’re too young for music festivals. But anyway…”
  4. “Oh, my earring? It’s a Yin-Yang symbol.”
  5. “Your teacher wants you to copy these notes I wrote on the board. Hey, while you’re doing that, I just found this killer station on Pandora…”
  6. “I know, guys. I was in school once, too. Sometimes it feels like you’re in prison. Life gets better though. Especially when you start reading Noam Chomsky in college.”
  7. “These are Diesel Jeans.”
  8. “Oh please… 'American Idiot'? You don’t even know what punk is. I was listening to Green Day when they were on Lookout Records. Before they sold out.”
  9. “… And then I looked all around me. I said to myself, ‘This isn’t me.’ Then I walked right out of his lecture.”
  10. “Nice MacBook. Did you know Steve Jobs took LSD?”
  11. “Damn, this chalk dust is really killing the calluses on my fingertips. Guess this will teach me not to play my guitar at Open Mic on a school night.”
  12. “It’s called a bolo tie. I bought it when I was at Joshua Tree.”
  13. “I sat next to Jeff Goldblum on an airplane once.”