What You’re Actually Saying When You Order a Caesar Salad

  1. I was going to order cheese, but thought that would be uncool.
  2. I couldn’t be the only one who ordered the Triple-Queso Cheese Bowl.
  3. Vegetables are just vehicles for cheese.
  4. Lettuce negates cheese.
  5. All lettuce is the same: better with cheese.
  6. I love cheese.
  7. I eat cheese in the bathtub every night.
  8. I don’t know what kale is.
  9. I never want to know what kale is.
  10. Does it come soaked in cheese?
  11. I will try kale if it’s soaked with cheese.