Words That I Need for My Dissertation That Don’t Exist

By Carmen Faye Mathes
  1. Contrapunctual – adjective – 1. Intentional belatedness with respect to poetic form; 2. My dissertation schedule with respect to my dissertation
  2. Hegemonkey – noun – 1. Apish answer to ideology; 2. Tree-dwelling mammal in a suit.
  3. Insistenance – noun – 1. Food in the fridge that calls me away from my computer multiple times per day; 2. Large portions of cold, leftover pasta.
  4. Inebriaffinated – adjective – 1. The condition in which writing may feel enjoyable; 2. Descriptive term for three o’clock in the morning on Sundays.
  5. Notmal – adjective – 1. Not normal but also, not strange; 2. Dorothy Wordsworth’s relationship with her brother, William Wordsworth.
  6. Onnocence – noun – 1. Naïvete about self-stimulation; 2. The Lord Byron’s opinion of John Keats’s poetry.
  7. Parallactaid™ – noun – 1. Over-the-counter requirement for reading the complete works of Slavoj Žižek.
  8. Portionable – adjective – 1. A considerable portion.
  9. Perplexion – noun – 1. A knot of irresolvable affective energy; 2. A knot of irresolvable affective energy in my face.
  10. Romantichasm – noun – 1. Metaphysical crisis; 2. What William Wordsworth saw before writing the first four stanzas of Intimations Ode.
  11. upostess – noun – 1. A portmanteau word… with the mostess.
  12. Unsurety – noun – 1. Not being certain of requirements, preconditions, obligations, etc., for the undertaking of an enormous task; 2. The nature of my understanding of the guidelines for submitting a dissertation to the graduate department at my university.