You too could have all this beauty in just a few steps and 3 hours!
  1. Shave and spray deodorant on your fucking face!
    Yes it burns but it's fun! The deodorant also dries your skin but ALSO tightens it right up making smooth canvas for the devils work.
  2. Take a shot
    Always tequila
  3. Glue down your brows!
    3 or 4 layers. Allow 10 minutes to dry between layers. Drink while this is happening.
  4. Cover eyes in a highlight color I can only describe as "home schooled red head"
    This brightens the mask area and is gunna make your eye makeup pop!
  5. Then do yo forehead in 3 colors! Because nothing is easy!
    Highlight the middle and contour the corners to give your forehead shape Baby!
  6. Drink!
  7. Next Paint your face
    Be sure to use 3 colors. Highlight, base and contour!
  8. Drink!
  9. Blend it all together so you can look like a beautiful lady!
  10. Drink!
  11. Powder it all in 3 different colors and let it sit.
    This is called cooking. The longer it sits the longer your make up lasts. Also ... Drink!
  12. Start your eyes!
    This is called cutting a crease, making your eyelid look like it goes up to your eyebrow!
  13. It's hour 2 1/2and I'm tipsy.
    You're gunna be laaaate!
  14. Fill it in with pretty colors!
    I missed some photos cause I was drunk at this point.
  15. Spray your face down with green marble.
    This sets your make up so it won't come off no matter how hard you scrub.
  16. And then perform two shows across town.
    Explain the concept of drag to two uber drivers.
  17. Get home and eat lettuce wraps.