You too could have all this beauty in just a few steps and 3 hours!
  1. Shave and spray deodorant on your fucking face!
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    Yes it burns but it's fun! The deodorant also dries your skin but ALSO tightens it right up making smooth canvas for the devils work.
  2. Take a shot
    Always tequila
  3. Glue down your brows!
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    3 or 4 layers. Allow 10 minutes to dry between layers. Drink while this is happening.
  4. Cover eyes in a highlight color I can only describe as "home schooled red head"
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    This brightens the mask area and is gunna make your eye makeup pop!
  5. Then do yo forehead in 3 colors! Because nothing is easy!
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    Highlight the middle and contour the corners to give your forehead shape Baby!
  6. Drink!
  7. Next Paint your face
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    Be sure to use 3 colors. Highlight, base and contour!
  8. Drink!
  9. Blend it all together so you can look like a beautiful lady!
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  10. Drink!
  11. Powder it all in 3 different colors and let it sit.
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    This is called cooking. The longer it sits the longer your make up lasts. Also ... Drink!
  12. Start your eyes!
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    This is called cutting a crease, making your eyelid look like it goes up to your eyebrow!
  13. It's hour 2 1/2and I'm tipsy.
    You're gunna be laaaate!
  14. Fill it in with pretty colors!
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    I missed some photos cause I was drunk at this point.
  15. Spray your face down with green marble.
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    This sets your make up so it won't come off no matter how hard you scrub.
  16. And then perform two shows across town.
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    Explain the concept of drag to two uber drivers.
  17. Get home and eat lettuce wraps.
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