THINGS MY DOG DID ON THE TRAIN RIDE BACK TO NYC

Shit got so real
  1. Met the conductor and engineer, both of whom loved him.
  2. Took a nap.
  3. Woke up and suddenly had a monstrous allergic reaction to I DON'T KNOW WHAT. Oh God, what is happening?!
  4. Threw up into my scarf.
  5. Threw up into my coat.
  6. Threw up into a plastic bag that took way too long for me to find.
  7. Horrified all the passengers, who were kind and offered nervous support from a safe distance.
  8. Took another nap (oh God, is he breathing? Is his throat closing??).
  9. Reminded me to talk to my doctor about that Xanax prescription.
  10. Spoiler alert: he's gone from Swamp Thing to Two-Face (translation: he's fine). I have lost five years off my life, no doubt.