Things I've Learned in Law School

(yet another way to avoid studying for finals)
  1. β€’
    How to prioritize breakdowns
    (lack of) money first, then failing the Bar, then just generally being incompetent. Numerous emotions of defeat, poor self-esteem, fear, etc. if there's time
  2. β€’
    How to recite case information on four hours' sleep
    Force of will
  3. β€’
    How to survive on Diet Coke and Cheez-its
    Aka prolonging my life until age 30 when my body revolts against me
  4. β€’
    How to carry three 1,000 page textbooks at once
    Potentially herniating other discs in my spine surrounding my already herniated one
  5. β€’
    How to hide dirty hair
    Dry shampoo πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸΌ
  6. β€’
    How to royally procrastinate studying for finals
    Netflix. And chill