BITCHY THINGS YOUR CAT DOES TO WAKE YOU UP IN THE MORNING

Those Puss in Boots eyes will only get you so far, cat.
  1. Slowly push each item off of your nightstand.
    water glass, books, glasses (so you have to dig under your bed blind), a lamp...
  2. Punch around the balance ball you use as a clothes rack.
    It creates a lovely "pool floatie on hardwood" sound to ease you into the morning hours.
  3. Knock over the baseball bat you use to fend off zombie attacks.
    This probably happens a few times before you wise up and realize the bat is better off under the bed with the glasses.
  4. Desperately meow at your door once you've finally kicked her out.
    How is something so small so loud? Your neighbor's are up at this point too.
  5. Weirdly tap your face.
    Bonus points if you get scratched while she tries to pull the covers off.
  6. Shred the priceless work in your junior year art portfolio.
    There's still no respect for the still life you created from Ben Affleck's cover of Vanity Fair and your favorite selection of Lip Smackers.
  7. Transform into a damn precious companion so you go through it all again tomorrow.