What to Do After Vomiting While Driving (Vwd)

  1. For god's sake pull over!
  2. Vomit at least two more times before you manage to get out of your car to vomit in the parking lot of wherever the hell you are.
  3. Grab your water bottle from your gym bag & some napkins from the glove compartment and try to wash your hands before getting back into your car.
  4. Call your trainer to say that you're not going to make it into the studio today.
  5. Drive home trying not to smell nor notice the oatmeal-ly vomit all over you. Think that you might not want to eat oatmeal again for a while.
  6. Take off your clothes - very carefully so as not to spread vomit all over - and climb into the shower.
  7. Wonder if the apple crisp that you took out of the oven 2 minutes before you left the house is contaminated with a virus or if it can still be served to evening dinner guests.
  8. Lay down on the couch with your phone and email your co-workers sharing TMI about what happened and that, instead of going back online after your appointment, you're going to "lie low" for the afternoon. Fortunately it's Friday and there's not much going on.
  9. Wonder if you're sick and should cancel that dinner party in a few hours - there was diarrhea earlier but you thought it was from eating too many green apples - plus there was no nausea prior to and some choking on a loose tea leaf during the vomiting incident. So maybe you're not sick and your stomach just feels weird because it is empty.
  10. The above item takes several hours and includes several sub-tasks like finally watching "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" on Netflix, eating a bagel, cleaning the car with Clorox wipes, and finally texting your husband. You jointly decide to carry on with the evening's plans.
  11. Go to the grocery store for a few last-minute items for the dinner party. On the way there notice the strong scent of Clorox wipes and that you missed a spot of vomit on the seatbelt.
  12. Clean the seatbelt more thoroughly with another Clorox wipe. Leave the window open so that the car can air out overnight. Carry in the groceries and put them away.
  13. Sit down to rest and to start this list. Second guess your decision to carry on.
  14. Wonder if you should share this list with your evening guests before dinner, after dinner, only if they get sick, or never. Hope that none of them are on The List App yet.