AWFUL THINGS THAT JUST HAPPENED AT MY AUDITION

For a furniture store commercial...
  1. Casting director said "You look nothing like your photo! Did you change your look?"
    Haven't changed my "look" in years.
  2. Danced around a computer chair for 1 minute.
    While Miley Cyrus was playing.
  3. Was told to make sexier faces to the camera.
    And to "tell a story with your eyes"
  4. Looked up to see 4 of 5 casting dudes looking down at their phones.
  5. Said "you too" when the casting director said "good luck!"
  6. Got a parking ticket.
    2 minutes over on the meter.
  7. Fuck it I'm going to Pinkberry.