BIZARRO MELISSA

  1. Remembers everyone's name.
  2. Has a 9-5 job in a tall office building and wears power suits from Barney's with vintage Manolo Blahniks.
  3. Eats a dairy-free diet.
  4. Watches Jim Cramer's Mad Money and actually understands everything he says.
  5. Wakes up at 6am to run 3 miles.
  6. Has fancy nails with fancy bejeweled nail art.
  7. Is a New York Times best selling author for her memoir about working as a model.
  8. Lives in London and calls elevators "lifts" like she's been doing it her whole life.
  9. Bakes macaroons that she gives out as gifts just "because."
  10. Puts organic supplements in her daily smoothies instead of taking anti-depressants.
  11. Hates reality TV and reads books instead.
  12. Owns a winery in Napa where she spends her summers.
  13. Has zero social media presence because living in the moment is more important to her.