THINGS I CANNOT ACCOMPLISH WITHOUT ASSISTANCE

Sometimes I just need some damn help
  1. Getting down a 2-liter soft drink from the top shelf at a grocery store (and I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me adorable or laugh at me while I make my best attempt.)
  2. Completing a single episode of Breaking Bad without exclaiming.
  3. Pulling a turkey out of the oven.
  4. Understanding what the NASDAQ is and how it can effect me.
  5. Ordering Chinese food over the phone (I just...can't.)
  6. Tucking the sheet in on the opposite side of the bed.
  7. Walking my 85-lb dog without falling.