THINGS MY DOGS HAVE DONE SINCE I'VE COME HOME FROM WORK EXACTLY 43 MINUTES AGO

  1. Urinated on the floor
  2. Seemed confused by my exasperated sighs and groans
  3. Stole a pair of panties from my hamper and chewed the crotch out (a compliment?)
  4. Buried themselves in the clean to-be-folded laundry
  5. Jumped on my legs and made me fall
  6. Barked at nothing
  7. Barked at a reflection of themselves (still nothing)