BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES A CHEAP, SKINNY, SOBER BITCH ANYWAY

With the new year almost upon us, here are my more realistic resolutions for 2016.
  1. Exercise...[my social media blocking skills to hide the Trump supporters, racists, homophobes, mansplainers from my consciousness]...more frequently
  2. Eat more local, seasonal foods...[such as the holiday specific peanut m&m's from the Target down the street]...this year.
  3. Read...[into things and jump to the wrong conclusions]...more.
  4. Drink 8 glasses of water...[melon margaritas]...a day.