EVERY TIME...

  1. ... someone mentions Mark Hamill (the Star Wars guy) my brain conjures up the image of Mark Harmon (the NCIS guy)
  2. ... I see a list with 68 stars I'll star the fuck out of it, because 69.
  3. ...I speak when my heart is bitter, I regret the words I say.
  4. ... someone makes a joke in Yoda speak, I have to stop and remind myself Star Wars=yoda and Star Trek=spock so I don't make a misplaced live long and prosper hand signal.
  5. ... I say I'm only going to read one chapter before going to sleep, and
  6. ... I know it's a lie.
  7. ... You mansplain something to me, that look in my eye is NOT interest, it's me imagining how I'm going to kill you and plotting where I'm going to bury your body.
  8. ... I get a notification here from someone with the same name as someone I know IRL, I panic a bit thinking that despite my layers and layers of security, I've been found. And they will ruin everything.
  9. ... I wear my red shoes I remember my grandma telling me "only whores and 5 year olds wear red shoes, don't be a whore, child." My response, while clicking my Wizard of Oz ruby red shoes, "Grammy, I'm 8 so I must be a whore now."