HOW I'D FARE ON DIFFERENT REALITY TV SHOWS

  1. Bachelor - I'd be the girl constantly being told by the bachelor that I need to open up more to him. Guarded and controlled don't even begin to describe me. Internet would make memes on my resting bitch face.
    3rd rose ceremony.
  2. Survivor - I'd sail through the first half of the game being neither the weakest link nor the alpha. But after being denied food reward after food reward I'd get hangry, going full 2007 Britney when someone on the island looks at me wrong and everyone just stares at me in confused silence.
    5th member of the jury.
  3. Big Brother - night one I'd form an 8 member alliance that I would name the avengers and give everyone a superhero alias. They'd be loyal to me until we're the only ones left at which point we turn on each other.
    Final 4.
  4. Amazing Race - excellent sense of direction and problem solving skills would keep me around until the end. Would be done in by the final memory puzzle.
    2nd place.
  5. The Voice - I'd sing Love the Way You Lie. The combination of Eminem style rapping + Rihanna warbling would be audition gold and would almost make up for my lack of singing ability. I'd also go the half-person route, dressing up as inked-up white boy on one side, and Barbadian goddess on the other.
    0 chairs turn around, but Blake and Adam would be so blown away by the sheer courage it took to get up on the stage that we go out for drinks after and we become bffs.
  6. Hell's Kitchen - the overly sensitive chef who'd cry once every episode and look like I'd spontaneously combust at every elimination. Gordon Ramsey would tell me my risotto was crap and I'd run out of the kitchen in tears.
    2nd one eliminated.
  7. Toddlers and Tiaras - I'd be the girl hyped up on pixie sticks and red bull just to get through the nightmare. I'd show up late to the beauty competition because I didn't want to get my hair and makeup done.
    7th place. Out of 6. Probably.